Happy New Beer!

I am not making any resolutions this year, my friends. Honestly I’m still working on the resolutions I made in 2007. *Laugh* I am however, hoping that that the New Year brings me the ridiculously unattainable things that 2011 didn’t!

I think the last few blog postings have been so centered on family, death and grieving that it’s time to get you guys caught up on what I originally started this blog about! Bacon, Booze, Boys and Beer!

• Christmas Eve festivities were held at my house this year, in which I centered all aspects of food around … you guessed it. Bacon! We had Bacon-Wrapped Water Chestnuts to start, a Bacon Herb Crusted Beef Tenderloin for the main course, accompanied by shots of Bacon Vodka to those who wanted to cleanse their pallet before eating the beef, Bacon and Cheddar Cheese Biscuits, Roasted Red Potatoes with Bacon and of course, to complete the meal, Brioche Bread Pudding – this of course, has bacon in it. Let me just say that yes, perhaps a few people stared in shock at all of the bacon, but you know what else?
  Not a damn one of them complained.
• I can only talk so much about booze, but seriously, booze is awesome. I think that about covers it.

The Pigeon and The Statue

Once upon a time in a land further north, I wrote this post:

The Pigeon and The Statue

I would say I suppose, that it still holds true for most relationships.

Unless in that so-called relationship, you become nothing but the statue to the other person. And that my friends, is when it becomes time to …

*Laugh*

That’s the thing, to what? To become someone else’s statue?

You tell me … finish this for me. I need to hear something other than my own thoughts.

 

Tex-Ass, Em the Vampire, Roses and RE

1) So tomorrow, I’m heading to Texas for some work-related things. I’m only there a couple of days, and most of my time is filled up BUT I am looking forward to some warmer weather (hello 80 degrees!) and to two good nights out! I can flat-out party in Houston I have a feeling! Any suggestions on where to go??

2) Yesterday was Halloween. Emilee, my little darling, was a vampire and if I do say so myself, she looked great. I did her make-up including hollowed-out eyes, white skin, blood dripping from the corners of her mouth and crazy hair. This year, we headed over to her aunt’s house so that she could trick or treat with her cousins. And this year, she went from house to house for three hours. I had to force her to stop because her bag was so heavy she was having her dad or I carry it, and well, cuz I was damned tired of walking around.

3) Also, yesterday when we got home from work/school, we pull into the driveway and see these at my front door:

I, of course, being the huge sucker that I am for flowers, start ooohing and awing. Em and I jumped out of the car and run to the front door where we both bend down to sniff at the flowers when she says, “Do you think Gavin sent these to me?”

*Blink*

Awwwwww!

Wait. Wait just a damn minute. Gavin! Gavin who? I looked at her and said, “Well, let’s read the card!”

And she was sad when they weren’t from Gavin, who by the way, is her new major crush at school since she broke up with her other boyfriend. She sounds like who, do you guys know?  *Laugh*

4) And let me just point out, those roses? So NOT from RE(tard).

So, what do I have to say to that?

I call Bullshit. AGAIN.

The Boobs, QT-Vision, Blogable Stuff and Other Stuff

1) Lately, I’ve spent less time with The Boobs as our respective jobs have taken us a bit in different directions. While this makes me somewhat sad some of the time, most of the time I’m too busy to notice. Until this past week, when I pulled up a chair and had a chat with The Boobs.

“What’s up, Boobs? Haven’t seen you douches in a while,” I tell them.

“QUUUU-TEEEE!” they yell at me. “How was Florida? Did you get any sun?”

See now, I get this question because I’m so damn pale that when I actually DO get a tan, I’m just the normal color of everyone else. So yes, while I got lots of sun in Florida it’s hard to notice on me, as I’m typically vampire-ish color.

“Yep,” I say, as I pull my shirt over to show them my sweet tan line.

In the midst of me doing this Googlie immediately throws his hands over his eyes, looking like he was in a flat-out panic and shields himself from the view of my tan line. Twitch and I stare at him for a moment before we are like, “Dude what are you doing?”

“Oh. Um …” he says, all embarrassed.

“Holy hell. Did you think I was going to show you my boob, Googlie?” I ask.

CLEARLY you can see this was exactly what he thought I was going to do, yes. Twitch immediately starts laughing his ass off while Googlie turns bright red and is stumbling over a response.

“Dude. WTF, when have I ever even …” I’m starting to ask when before I can finish my question Twitch suddenly stops his laughing, stares at me and yells …

“WAIT! You weren’t, were you?” with a look of seriousness.

*BLINK*

WTF! Like I randomly show my tits to my coworkers??

“No. Today is not your lucky day, asshats,” I say.

*Laugh* You have to love them, just a little bit.

What’s A QT To Do …

After a douchebag?

I think it’s important to get yourself up, dust yourself off from all of the bullshit you were apparently rolling around in, and get over it.

So, that’s what I did. I got up, dusted myself off and decided to accept an invitation from a man for a … “meet”.  (Yes, I’m back to Meets!)

Now the interesting thing about this particular man is the fact that he is …

Gorgeous.

Utterly beautiful. Downright hot. Women stared at him wherever we went. Men stared at him wherever we went. I introduced him to a friend of mine, who is and always has been gay. He stared at my Meet. Then he stared some more. And then he looked at me and said, “I suddenly feel conflicted.”

*Laugh*

You know what I did? I stereotyped. I absolutely stereotyped this man because of what he looks like. And yes, probably because of the douchbag and my fair share of them over the years.

BAD BAD QT!

You know how that goes. Men that look like him are typically jerks. Men that look the way he does don’t have to treat women well because they have women fawning all over them. A man who looks like him would never want to date me. Blah Blah, I could go on and on.

Instead, I’d just like to say that I was the jerk for stereotyping this guy. Cuz really, he just proved me wrong. A whole heckuva lot wrong. Once I realized just how wrong I was, I actually laughed at myself.

I’m not saying he’s my boyfriend, I’m not saying it’s going anywhere. What I am saying, is that I had a great meet (that turned into two meets) with an extremely enjoyable, handsome man.

And yeah, that old favorite saying of mine is true.

Never judge a martini by its color. 

The Cat and The Bag

Well, I think the time has come to let you all in on something I have been keeping to myself for a while now. Something kinda big for me and something that I find myself surprised to say, is not in the least bit scary for me. And you guys know me … this type of thing usually has WORRY written across my forehead in wrinkles.

Some of you know, as I’ve drunk-texted pictures. *Laugh*

Sorry Min.

And Cookie.

And ShaNaNa.

I’m Just Sayin …

1) I was IM’ing with Twitch the other day about some random shit when I sent him a link to You Tube, asking if he’s seen the Katy Perry video, Last Friday Night.

“Have you seen this?” I asked, inserting the link.

“No I haven’t seen this. I’m a 42-year-old man, not a 12-year-old girl,” he responded.

*Blink*

It’s amazing to me the pure amount of total sarcasm that came shining through in that Instant Message – just in text alone! LOVE IT. I cracked up and said, “But Debbie Gibson and Corey Feldmen are in it!”

He totally watched it.

2) I am worried about My Cookie. I called and left a voice mail in which I said, I Love You before hanging up. Apparently, Google Voice heard that as I Don’t Know.

I sort of feel that Google Voice KNOWS ME. Cuz really, as you all know, I just don’t know.

3) I need a home remedy for some serious whisker burn. Um, I know someone who has it on her chin. She looks like she has flaming red clown chin so any advice for her would be appreciated.

4) You know, if ever given the opportunity, it’s fun to take a walk at midnight in the moonlight with someone, each of you holding a martini glass filled with your favorite mixture. It is a word to the wise however, that notes things on the ground in the dark after consuming said martini’s that could be tripping hazards, and worse, spill your martini! EGADS!

5) ShaNaNa and I finally made it out for GNO this past week! All I can say is that it was about damn time. We had a great time, but then a friend of her boyfriend’s showed up and decided to hang out with us.

All.Night.Long.

*Sigh*

However, we did take a picture with this friend. When he posted it on FB, someone said, “You’re the meat in a hottie sandwich dude!”

Winning! For him. 

I Like Strings, Dammit!

This past week, something was in the air for me. I had dates, I had parties, I had boys flocking for some reason, but mostly I had … fun.

What I didn’t have, was sex.

Believe me when I say, I’m okay with that. But it did get me to thinking, because you see, it all boils down to this for me:

I am not the No Strings Attached girl.

I can try, I can put effort into it, hell, I have tried! I have put effort into it! I have tried to be that girl! And every time, every damn time, I failed! *Laugh*

So the time has come, when I have to say fuck it and give up. I am just not that girl. I like connecting emotionally with a man I choose to have sex with. And if I can’t connect emotionally with him, it seems the sex is always just … so-so. And I’d rather have better than so-so sex. I want the balls-out-amazing sex that I know I can have when I’m emotionally connected to a man, and I want that …

Every damn time.

Short Meets, Shelf Hips, Regenerating Livers and Drunk-Dialing MindyMom

As you may have read from my previous post, I refuse to ‘date’ any longer! It is my opinion that dating sucks.

The only people who think dating is fun … are married people.

Now, instead of doing the dreaded dating, I’m instead doing ‘meets’.  And last night, I had what I will call, an impromptu ‘meet’.  So I met the dude for drinks. (Don’t laugh at meets, they work in my mind!)

Aaaaaaaaand here comes the part that made me wake up this morning laughing …

Emilee Stuff, Dad Stuff and QT Stuff

Emilee is gone with her dad for a week. A whole week.

*BLINK*

It’s one thing for me to travel a bit for work, as I’m away working, drinking, doing whatever. It’s a complete other thing to have HER gone from me for a week. As soon as I dropped her off at her dad’s, I drove away feeling …

Like shit.  :(

In other Emilee news, this past weekend, she in her most serious Emilee voice said, “Mom, when I grow up I think I’m going to work at Hooters,” with a bit of her thinking look. “They have a gift shop!”

Well. There is that.

——————-

I am not sure I have ever mentioned this before, but I’m a Daddy’s Girl. Admittedly. Proud of it. I have no issues with being a Daddy’s Girl. I, in fact, LOVE IT. Take pride in it.

So yesterday, when my dad knew I was down in the dumps without my girl, he offered to spend some time with his girl. AKA me. So we hit the mall. With his credit card. And just so you know, this was his idea and not mine.

WOO HOO! When I showed him a shirt I was buying (with  his credit card) he eyed at it for a minute and asked, “Where’s the rest of it?”

*Giggle*

So two pairs of shoes, one pair of jeans (skinny), three eye shadow’s, one mascara and four shirts later we came home, where I made my dad his favorite dinner.

It’s not often a girl that’s almost 40 gets that kind of spoiling from her daddy, I know.  Hmmm …

Yeah, I’m okay with that.

——————-