I’m a single mom. I’ve been a single mom since November of 2006, and what an adventure it is. For the first time in my life, I take out my own garbage. I pick up dog poop. Okay, really? I pay someone else to do it because it makes me gag. I cut lawn, shovel snow, pay my own bills and have what I consider to be a kick ass life. Emilee and I have many adventures, and I’m determined to make the most of it.
I decided to blog after the love of my life, or so I thought, broke off the relationship as he decided he didn’t see a future. With me.
This blog will be to get some thoughts on paper (as a manner of speaking), work out tribulations of being 35, 36, 37, 38, 39 and a single mom. Did you know that telling a man that I am a single mom, has for me, at times, been like using a spray-on man repellent?
Enjoy, thank you for reading and dammit, leave a comment!
Love the intro, QTMama. Do drop by to mine and compare notes. Funny when I read your post on “Closure” as I had a same post as that…;-)
Thanks Hanie. How do I get there?
Your link is blank?
Oops…its http://lifeisonebigstage.wordpress.com
I have to say, I’ve never understood why men balk so much at a woman with children. I joke that I have a thing for soccer moms but really, it’s sort of moms, in general. I don’t know how someone could watch a mom reach out for her kid with that sort of all encompassing love and not be moved. I don’t know – I think it’s a very attractive quality, to love so selflessly, and more people should recognize it in mothers.
RE – spread the word baby! *grin*
You are absolutely right, I think men look at it as something to be scared of rather than an attractive quality. That’s their loss, isn’t it?
I agree. The irony of it all is that I think a lot of guys want a woman to love them like that – but when they see it in a woman for her child …they back off. I think part of the reason is that a lot of guys see a kid as competition for attention/love. which is pretty stupid and short-sighted. I’d be more alarmed if I met a woman who put her boyfriend before her kid.
It’s all about how you tell them you’re a single mom (I’ve found). And those who do balk are jerks anyway. We get to fend off the jerks by default. Kind of nice.
Taking out the garbage rocks! Love it. Every time I do it I realize how easy it is … and then imagine how long my husband would have complained about having to take it out.
Love your blog! Keep posting!
Oh, and I’m 35, too! I think I’ve been in the single mama-business a bit longer. Almost 8 years now! I love your voice. Can’t wait to read more.
I’ve just discovered your blog and LOVE it! Hope you don’t mind but I’ve added you to my list of “take a peeks”…I’m 36 myself and have been a single mom a LONG time! LOL…my little man is 8. Feel free to pop in and chat!
Hey QT! It’s me…Tracy…I moved to wordpress!!! tell me what you think….
http://littlemansmom.wordpress.com/ I guess I shoulda added the link! LOL…
Happy Father’s Day!! I’m a product of a single mother…and I don’t think single mother’s get half as much credit as they should…so, just wanted to say, that no matter how hard it is right now, one day you’re kids will thank you and will appreciate how hard you work to raise them…I know I did!
Lots of single dads out there not getting any credit either…
Vinnie – Certainly, probably more so than single mommies. But sorry to say, the point of my blog is not for single dad’s.
Well, unless you want clues on things this single mom likes and dislikes.
Understood, it was just a respnse to something someone had said above.
“…been like using a spray-on man repellant?” haha…well…I see it more as mace! (for those guys that won’t leave me alone at the bar….I blurt out “I’m a single mom to 3 kids”. That usually works like magic when politeness fails.) I read on Ms Single Mama’s blog awhile back, how being a single parent, and forthcoming about it, DOES indeed weed out the wrong ones early on…so, it’s a good thing! :O)
Hi QTMama,
What cool blog. Congratulations!
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We are reaching out to you to invite you to partner with us (it will probably work best if you like cars, just bought one, or are going to have to buy one at some point in the future). We will pay you for traffic sent our way. We’ve got some pretty easy and fun stuff that can be done.
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Hi QTMama!
Great blog! I was looking for an email address for you but couldn’t find one. Would you please send me an email at lisamunleyATcaDOTrrDOTcom?
THanks!!
I love the man-repellant comment. It’s so true. I haven’t gotten to the point where I’m really looking for a man yet, I haven’t decided if I want one or not, but I do notice that men get a scared look when they find out I have a child.
I married one with 4 kids and we had another in our mid-forties to make it five. All went to college and the youngest is in an elite medical school now. Needlessto say, I never looked back. The smartest thing I ever did.
GasDocPol – That by far, is my favorite comment on this page. *HUGS* and Big ONES for you!
Love your blog. I’m a single dad and I’d love to date more single moms; but with conflicting custody schedules just the logistics alone make it difficult at times.
And to those single moms who don’t have the problems with conflicting custody because you are with your child 100% of the time you have nothing buy my utmost respect. It’s a shame that most people don’t realize how hard that is and how strong a women has to be to handle it all on her own.
Lumber – you rock darlin. You’re welcome here anytime.
Spray-on man repellent? Hmm, I’ve been wondering what the hell has been making guys tuck tail and run away. It’s nice to know that we don’t stink. That would be depressing.
Love your blog!
Nakia, first? Welcome! I’m glad you’re here. Grab a martini and sit back to enjoy the craziness.
And yes, it’s not cuz we stink. Well, I’m pretty sure *I* don’t. Unless it’s of alcohol.
[...] About QTMama [...]
Glad to have found this blog.
I agree with MsSingleMama: you weed out the jerks by being a single mom.
Looking forward to reading more
My problem is I have had so many crummy relationships that I don’t want to date anymore. My ex left 9 years ago and I have been in a relationship once since. It was horrible. My son is 11 now and we have a great time together. We’re on the swim team together, and are active in our church. I have had to beg people to please not try to set me up with your friends. How can I explain to folks that whatever issues I have that cause me to fall for these wrecks aren’t resolved yet and I don’t need to deal with anyone else’s issues? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :>
Irish Rover (SO LOVE YOUR NAME, btw) …
You do simply that. Tell them, “Thank you, but no thank you.” You need not explain yourself to anyone darlin. Ever. Best of luck.
I love your blog, just found it today. Adding to my blog roll.
Thank you Pinny! Welcome, stay and get ready to have yourself some blank face.
Thanks for coming by to say hi.
I am flattered to have you there, but embarrassed on the last blog… I should never drink and blog. I was mortified to see you were one of the first to comment.
I hung my hobbit toes in shame.
Awwwh Mike, don’t be mortified! Drinking and blogging are my two favorite things in a man. *Batting eyes*
Ya know, I don’t remember how the hell i came across all of you guys’ blogs. I think I was googling something and clicked on Dad’sHouse or something like that. I like it though. You guys crack me up. Sometimes a little too much. But that’s ok.
I only know of one female who kind of sees people’s kids as baggage and that is my ex-girlfriend. All the other people who do get embarrased when kids are mentioned are guys. that started with some friends back in high school. Shit, Homeboy said he’d give homegirl a ride home from the mall, but walked out another exit to his car. I don’t know how she got home. I wasn’t there. he told me afterwords.Oh the stigma. For Pete’s sake.
So sorry to hear about your love Corey Haim. A piece of the 80′s died today. RIP Corey.
Thank you Jaymie!
I was just curious if you know of any single mothers that have simply given up on men and are now with a
woman?
^LOL Robert!
I think I saw that once on Friends, as a matter of fact …
You are amazing!! Im also 35 years old and raising three beautiful girls on my own. It is a challenge but at night when I see their beautiful faces I remember that through every challenge I must go forward for they depend on me. I also do all the yard work and yes I get tired but it sometimes feels good to answer to no one. Yes I have lonely nights but in the morning my babys faces bring me joy. I felt like I was the only person who struggled. Thanks to you Im not alone………
Great intro… glad I found ya