This past weekend, an unexpected thing happened. I spent the night with two chicks – all weekend!
Well, okay, only one was in my bed, the other one was on my couch. Still, it was one of those unexpected things. Because I don’t typically sleep with chicks.
I do naked HUG them though.
Okay so, back to Unexpected GIRLS WEEKEND. You guys remember Sunburn? From this post? And of course you know ShaNaNa … well, in all of these years? They’ve never met.
Until this weekend.
So the plan originally was that Sunburn and I were going to hang out. Unexpectedly and quite suddenly, ShaNaNa’s weekend were cancelled cancelled! So when I got the text that her plans were capoot, I did of course, invite her along. Finally Sunburn and ShaNaNa were going to meet!
So that night, ShaNaNa and I got gorgeous (as we could) and headed over to pick up one Ms. Sunburn, who also was gorgeous (of course). We promptly hit the downtown area, where I proceeded to drink shots as fast as one human should not drink them. You see, we sat down, and before we even ordered our drinks, some dudes at the bar sent over shots. (Clearly our gorgeousness was ON!) ShaNaNa and I drank ours down, whereas Sunshine pretended to drink hers. Then smiled and waved at them while she slyly slid her shot over to me. Then I promptly drank it. But the thing is, these shots were the size of pop cans. Seriously large shots. Whatever, I’m a big strong girl, I can handle it.
We order some beers and start chatting it up, having a good old-time. When the second round of shots came from the dudes at the bar, I threw that one back too. When I went over to thank the boys that were sending the shots, they ordered yet another one and I promptly downed that one as well. And then another …
Well. Four shots that are the size of pop cans in less than half an hour? Equals one drunk QT.
I insisted we had to leave, whereas we all walked over to some other bar. I drank some beer there. Sunburn hadn’t done one shot, ShaNaNa did two, I did four. In addition we were all drinking some type of beer or booze. Hmm … somehow it dawned on me that there was an Irish pub up the street and I insisted that we leave NOW (NOW) to head over there. I’m not quite sure what happened to Sunburn at that point, although I do believe she had some other friends at that bar, but I dragged ShaNaNa out of the bar and we promptly almost got lost until I yelled “DUDE! DUUUDE!” to some guy across the traffic-filled street and asked how we get to the Irish Pub. And off we go …
Somehow later in the evening Sunburn caught up with us, after walking miles to get where we were. ShaNaNa and I had hit the food court. I wasn’t walking very well and ShaNaNa insisted I needed to eat. She went to order me some food when I realized, food wasn’t happening. At all. In fact … Ut oh … I ran over to give her the purse – then I proceeded to hit the lady’s room where I threw up. Like, a lot.
I’m smart like that.
Apparently Sunburn came in to the food court just as Shan (who didn’t know I was in the bathroom puking my brains out) sat down with our food. Sunburn sat down with Shan and you know what she did? She, like any good friend, ate my food. Somehow they realized I was gone for a long ass time and decided to come looking for me.
Meanwhile, I’m in the bathroom thinking my puking episode was over. Just then, some chick comes flying into the stall next to me and starts her own bout of throwing up. Well, hearing that, my stomach decided I wasn’t done puking so I threw up some more. So now I’m puking, this unknown chick in the stall next to me is puking, when I hear this ragged voice ask, “Are you puking?” and I croak out, “Yes are you puking?”
“Yeeesssssss,” she answers.
See, that’s some girl bonding!
Finally ShaNaNa and Sunburn find me, Shan looking concerned because “You’re so pale!” and I’m like “Dude! I totally threw up” and I’m doing the close talking so I’m pretty sure she got a sweet scent of vomity-shots from my breath. They get me to the car where I proceeded to not be conscious till we got to my house.
When I woke up the next morning, I was spooning with ShaNaNa. I’m pretty sure I remembered yelling at her the night before that I was “cold, dammit! I’m shaking! Get OVER HERE” in which she scooted against me for warmth and I breathed bad vomit breath all over her and spooned. When I untangled myself from Shan that morning, she woke up and I was like, “DUDE! I suck! I barfed in the public bathroom!” I all of a sudden heard this noise as Sunburn came flying into bedroom “What are you bitches talking about?” and landed in the bed next to Shan and I.
Yep, goooooooooood weekend.
And that was only Friday night …