And here I thought life was going in the direction of Non-Weird Things … Alas friends! QT was yet again, wrong wrong wrong.
Here I was in the grocery store, in the third to last aisle, thinking I had made it through the store without incident! Wrong. Again.
I was in the aisle of detergents, from laundry to sink to toilet, looking at some of the FeBreeze Candles when I hear a voice say, “Excuse me young lady …” I turn around to see a very small, well dressed older (okay really old) lady standing there.
She smiles and says, “Can you help me? I’m looking for the tabs you drop in the back of your toilet tank to make the water blue. I can’t find my glasses though, and I’m afraid I can’t see up high on the shelves.”
I smile at this nice old lady, and what do I see on the top of her head? Her glasses. I grinned at her and said, “Sure! Let’s see here …” and start looking for the tablet things that make your water blue.
After finding them for her, she thanks me and proceeds to explain to me that they just got a new toilet, and asks me if I’ve heard of it before, this particular toilet. I kinda blinked, smiled again, and told her no, I hadn’t heard of that toilet. And as we walked down the grocery shopping aisle together, her pushing her cart and me pushing mine, she explained to me the new inner workings of her new toilet, which had, she said, a very very powerful flush. I was nodding along to her description of the toilet, when she smiled and said,
“My husband takes very large shits, you see. He is constipated all the time and … “
*Blink*
I stopped walking with her.
Really? I mean, really? Yup. Really.
*Sigh*
Again, I just have to inquire as to where you’re doing your grocery shopping.
My life is normal.
-R.
She really said the word “shits” ? God I wish something that hilarious would happen to me at the grocery store!
Yes Vino, she totally did.
I mean, I KNOW, right?
Oh girl. I SO want to follow you around with a video camera. You could totally have your own reality show.
I had an ole woman say the word p**sy to me once in casual conversation. please note i did not know her well…not sure how long i would have to know her for that to be okay….she was old and a wee bit on the smelly side…poor thing..anyways…i ended up throwing up in my mouth a lil bit and having to keep smiling like I didn’t just lose my lunchtime martini after her comment
oh and if you click on my name it takes you to my craft blog….this is my personal blog http://www.asifyoujustsaidthat.blogspot.com
Hey Andi Murdock!
I knows you! *Laugh* YAY you commented!
That is just plain weird.
Quit talking about me with RE!
Danielle – Nuh uh. Heh.
HA!! I love it. I’m totally going to be one of those old ladies….purely for my own amusement.
That. Is. Awesome.
You know she did that on purpose… she totally knew she had her glasses on her head!
Hahaha…… Only you, sweety. I think you must have one of those faces that people feel COMPLETELY comfortable with telling you EVERYTHING. I do. I sometimes get constipated as well. LMAO
You gotta love old people and what they say!
Caperucita – *Grin* I bet she knew too!
Angel darlin, thanks for the information. *Laugh*
Lmao! And I think Caperucita may be on to something. If I were an old lady I would totally f*ck with people for sport. Easy to get away with it.
Too much shit huh? Hahahaha. Alright.
Ewww. A lot of weird stuff happens around you. You must be a magnet for the funny stuff in the universe. I love it
My heart goes out to old people. I love helping them out in the store. Even just giving them space to move as freakin’ slow as they want. After all, we’ll all be that old someday. Some of us (ahem, me) sooner than others.
But your old lady friend has quite the potty mouth!
QT, thank you. I have been holding my breath since the last weird thing of the week, and now I can breather again, while I am dying laughing.
So, see, I would have, at the shit comment point, reached up and handed her the glasses from her head and then walked away. Either that or fell down laughing from the shock of her shit comment.
You should write a weird thing of the week book. I would totally buy it!
Yeah, I’m with the Love Coach. Please, please write a Weird Thing of the Week book.
I could really see it illustrated and all. Some folks might keep that book in the bathroom for a fun read… oh, anyway!
qt, you were obviously shopping with my mamaw who by the way is the original author of hellfire.
Janie, I SO love your mamaw!! <3
Your “Weird things of the week” sound like the “random overshares” that happen to me on occasion. I like to think they make life interesting.
Like the time the woman told me that she had her husband cremated, and her daughter (his stepdaughter), who he always treated “real good” threw his ashes onto the street one day.
I’m not sure how we got to that conversation, and I can’t even tell you how I got out of it. Possibly lots of blinking was involved as well as slowly backing away…