Parenting 101

You know, when Em was born, she didn’t come out with an instruction manual. I don’t claim to always know what I’m doing, but I can with certainty that I do the best that I can. And so, sometimes, I mess up. But I try to make the best of it, or when I realize in mid-mess up, I try to … I dunno, back pedal.  Fix it.  Here is my recent mess up …

Em and I were at the grocery store, her sitting in the cart eating her slices of cheese. I was grabbing some of what I needed, when she asked, “Mom! Do you think we’ll see Dick at this grocery store?”  I had my back to her as I was grabbing something off of the shelf and I know I rolled my eyes when I answered, “No.”

“But he lives near here, doesn’t he? Maybe he shops here,” she said.

“He shops at another grocery store closer to his house, hon,” I told her.

“Oh,” she said, having a sad face.  ”I was hoping we’d see him.”

I took a look at her sad face, and realized, it’s been almost two years now.  Two frickin years. And here she is, still hoping and hoping and HOPING she’ll see him again. And you know, in all of this time, she’s never really stopped talking about him. Or the fact that she misses him. Not everyday, and not super often, but still she mentions him. And in all of this time, I have tried hard to not bad mouth him to her.  I’ve told her what I thought was the best things for her to hear, even going so far as to tell her that of course he loves her. BLAH BLAH.  You get my drift.

I don’t know, this day, I looked at that sad face of hers and just … I don’t know. I don’t want to say I lost it, but yeah I guess I lost it a bit. I wasn’t angry at her, I just … I felt defeated. By him. Again.

Dear QT Readers,

Last night, I was wrapping gifts. My daughter is clever, you see. Two years ago she noticed that the writing on the gift tags, her Santa gifts?  The tags looked to be Mom’s writing.  She also noticed that the wrapping paper on the gifts from Santa was the same wrapping paper on some of the gifts we were giving to others.  I stumbled a bit on that answer, finally saying that the North Pole dudes didn’t just make toys, they also make the wrapping paper.  This, at the time, satisfied her.

So, to out-clever my daughter (so to speak), I’ve made the purchase of new wrapping paper ONLY to be used on the gifts from Santa.  I brought the gift tags into work, and Twitch has been kind enough to fill out the To From for me, so that it’s not my writing.  This year she will be receiving her gifts from Santa in blue wrapping paper, with red Santa’s all over it.  So last night, I was happily wrapping her gifts, when I ran out of tape.  Sighing, I got my purse and headed to the store for more tape. Once there, I was in line and I noticed this woman looking at me kind of funny.  I ignored it and went on about my business of standing in line waiting to purchase my Scotch Tape.  When I was next in line, the young man who was working behind the counter stared at me for a second, and then was obviously trying not to laugh.  Now I was a bit self-conscious, and was wondering what the hell was going on.  I mean, my zipper was zipped, my buttons were done, what was he looking at?  Anyway, I purchased my tape and went home to continue wrapping.

Later that evening, getting ready for bed, I went to do my usual before bedtime routine and wash my face, brush my teeth, etc.  I took one look in the mirror and stared in shock.

*BLINK*

I had blue ink, smeared across my face.  I looked like a God Damned SMURF.  Apparently the sweet blue Santa paper I bought was cheap as hell, because as I stared at my hands and my face, both as BLUE as blue can be, I realized that the paper sucked – it transferred from the paper to my hands, which I was using to touch my face of course.

*Sigh*

I stood in the mirror giggling at myself, wishing my camera wasn’t broken so I could have taken a picture.  Now I realize what everyone at the store was staring at, probably thinking, WTF.

I’m Just Sayin

1) It’s new car day! My current lease car is due, and today I get my brand spanking new car.  I think there is nothing in the world that beats that new car smell!  Mmmmmmm

2) Emilee is questioning the validity of Santa. I saw her thinking face on, and wondered what was coming.  Sure enough, she asks, “Remember when we were at the mall in Florida? We saw that Santa sitting there?”  I nodded.  ”Well, that’s not the same Santa that WE saw this year.”  Dammit.  I am really starting to get nervous when I see her Thinking Face.

3) Googlie came into work today and immediately pointed to his feet and said, “I bought new shoes.”  I looked at his new shoes and said, “I don’t give a shit.”

4) I was ordering some Christmas presents for Emilee from Amazon.  Admittedly, I was in a hurry when I was doing this. I knew exactly what I wanted and clicked away when I found it.  Four days later, a box from Amazon arrived. I put it amongst her Christmas gifts for wrapping.  The next day, more toys arrived.  The same with the day after, and the day after that.  Puzzled, I opened these boxes to find toys I didn’t order.  I went to Amazon to review my order.

*Blink*

That’ll teach me. In my hurried state of ordering the ONE Christmas gift I wanted, I somehow clicked on the “Add all five to cart”.  Yup, $200 later, Em will now be the proud owner of the Crayola Glow Dome, the Crayola Crayon Maker, Crayola Color Explosion Glow Board, Crayola Color Wonder Magic Light Brush and the Crayola Glow Station.

This is, of course, in addition to all of the other gifts I had already bought her.

And yes, I know I can return them.  But I can also afford them, and ya know, I love my girl.

This, That and The Other

1) I don’t get how SOMEONE (ahem: Random Esq.,) can wake up so damn chipper and happy.  I was immediately annoyed by the … sheer morning happiness of one RE.  I mean, how does that work?  I refused to be compliant with RE demands until I had my 2nd cup of coffee. Bah.

2) Emilee heard me say the word “shit.”  She immediately said, “Awwwwwwww you said the S WORD!”  And then she paused and said, “I can spell that!”

I said, “Spell it.  Let me hear it.”

She got her thinking face on, and said, “S … H …  I …. T”

WOO HOO!  Mom high-fived her for that one.  Then I wondered if that was wrong.  Hmmm …

3) I’ve come to the realization that I’m a bit … selfish when it comes to my K-Cup coffee.  I have my favorite kind, and I don’t want to share it when someone comes over and I offer them some coffee.  All I can think is that it leaves less for me.  Terrible, I know.

Now, last time I ordered K-Cups, I asked RE for some suggestions. I ordered RE’s favorite kind.  I received the K Cups, and immediately brewed a cup.

And it was disgusting.

How Cookie can drink that BITTER tasting coffee is beyond me.  Terrible. Fail.

Cookie, I know I told you I would send you those K Cups, but see, now?  I think I’m going to keep that coffee so that I can give it to guests when they are over. This way, I have coffee to share but don’t have to use mine!  SO BRILLIANT!

*I need help. I know this.*

*Sigh* RE Services Me Once Again

Well folks, RE Services Me Once Again.

Life, sometimes, is just not what I wanted it to be.

Want to know more?

Click here.

One, Two or Three?

What’s Your Dating Style?

So in a recent discussion with Cookie, aka Random Esquire, it was pondered by RE what dating style I have.

“What adjective would you use to describe your dating style?  What draws people to you?” asked RE.

*Blink*

I thought about this for a bit … Hmmm, what characteristic do I have that attracts people to me.  Before I could get the answer out, Cookie says,

“I think that when people see QT, they think: “FUN.”  That’s the word that first pops into my head.  You are usually laughing or, at the very least, have a smile on your face.  That kind of energy attracts people to you.”

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!  That’s awesome!  And perhaps RE is right, but the funny thing is, my thoughts on this were going in another direction.

I’ve been told, by more than one person, that upon first laying eyes on me?  People think … Bitch.  Why?  Well that’s not for me to answer, everyone has their own perceptions to form.  One friend said “It’s because women that look like you don’t usually lower themselves to talk to people like me.”  I admit to being SHOCKED by that.  Absolutely floored.  The *Blink* *Blink* *Blink* type of floored.  I’m so not that girl, never have been.  What the hell does what *I* look like have to do with anything?  If you’re not a douche in personality?  Then I loves me some you.  End of story.

So to hear what RE had to say on this subject of yours truly, was nice.  Thank you Cookie.

And then …

Weird Thing of the Week

And here I thought life was going in the direction of Non-Weird Things … Alas friends!  QT was yet again, wrong wrong wrong.

Here I was in the grocery store, in the third to last aisle, thinking I had made it through the store without incident!  Wrong. Again.

I was in the aisle of detergents, from laundry to sink to toilet, looking at some of the FeBreeze Candles when I hear a voice say, “Excuse me young lady …”  I turn around to see a very small, well dressed older (okay really old) lady standing there.

She smiles and says, “Can you help me? I’m looking for the tabs you drop in the back of your toilet tank to make the water blue. I can’t find my glasses though, and I’m afraid I can’t see up high on the shelves.”

I smile at this nice old lady, and what do I see on the top of her head?  Her glasses.  I grinned at her and said, “Sure! Let’s see here …” and start looking for the tablet things that make your water blue.

After finding them for her, she thanks me and proceeds to explain to me that they just got a new toilet, and asks me if I’ve heard of it before, this particular toilet.  I kinda blinked, smiled again, and told her no, I hadn’t heard of that toilet. And as we walked down the grocery shopping aisle together, her pushing her cart and me pushing mine, she explained to me the new inner workings of her new toilet, which had, she said,  a very very powerful flush.  I was nodding along to her description of the toilet, when she smiled and said,

QTMama is Officially on Facebook!

So Little Filthy got his own Facebook page!  And as you may or may not know, he’s a dog. (Hear that RE?  A DOG.)

I thought a lot about this.  And you know what, if Little Filthy can have a Facebook page, well so can QTMama!

So with much discussion, much confusion and typical QT Style, I present to you … QTMama on Facebook!

Please,

Become a Fan!

or

Friend QTMama!

Here you may see random updates, things I laugh at (people falling down), quotes from Miss Emilee or a Drunk ShaNaNa, drunk texts and maybe even a few Weird Random Things.

And hey, it’s free.  Not a lot of blogs offer you FREE THINGS now do they?

Oh, wait …

Eh, check it out.

Hugs and bacon,

QT

This, That and The Other

1) This morning I received a text message from McP.  Remember him?  The boy I went to grade school with that I dated briefly?  It said this:

I hope you don’t mind that I think of you once in a while.

I sort of had Blank Face at that.  I don’t know what to do with that so I did nothing.  It’s sweet, in an almost-stalker kind of way.

2) The word, Dude.

I mean, it can be used for so many reasons!  A friend sent this to me, saying it made her think of me when she saw it.  I’m infamous for using the word Dude.

This is possibly one of the best commercials.  Ever.

3) Saturday night I have plans to have some fun with LetEmBreathe.  SO EXCITED.  I did, of course, invite ShaNaNa and made her promise not to drink a bottle of vodka before arriving this time.  I do believe my Jackpot is attending as well, should be an interesting night.  I hope I don’t knock a bar stool over this time.

4) F Marry Kill …

Tiger Woods
Levi Johnston
Owen Wilson

GO.

QT Must Have’s and No No’s

Okay so I was thinking this morning, about how weird I am about some things.  (This opening line is like ammo for My Cookie – I know, I know!)  There are some things I must have, at all times.  And if I don’t, I get all … I dunno, weird. Perhaps these are girl things, but after some thought, I’ve come to the conclusion this is not so.  I think they are QT Things.  So, without further ado …

1) Nails.

In the past 19 years, there hasn’t been a day (and I do mean a single day) that my nails haven’t been done to my exact wanting.  In fact, they’ve only been done ONE way – this way:

Random Esquire took this picture, actually, when I was visiting.  See the French Manicure?  I’m so damn picky about my nails, that I won’t even have that French Manicure painted on, it MUST be the two different colors of acrylic so that my  nails always look that way.  And that’s the thing, when I say always?  I mean, like … always. So upon occasion, when I break a nail, everything in life is thrown off. I can’t type! I can’t do my hair! I can’t zip things! It’s terrible.  I’m thrown into an all out panic mode and an instant phone call is made to Sunburn … who must fit me in immediately to have my nails filled/fixed.

Weird.  I know, but I accept this.

2) Purses

This is where QT goes into Snobby mode.  There was a time in high school that I would refuse, and I do mean refuse, to carry a purse unless it was Liz Claiborne.  Then I was in college, and was incredibly poor, but still would somehow talk my daddy into buying me a new Liz Purse for Christmas or my birthday.  And then one would think I would grow out of this phase, but oh no, it’s simply … grown.  Now?  I only buy and carry Coach Purses.  Maybe one per year, perhaps two.  I never, ever feel badly about spending $400 or more on a purse.  Which in hindsight kinda does sound … well, ya know, dumb, but again, I accept this.  I still manage to talk my daddy into buying me purses … and this is the new one he bought me while in Florida …

*DROOL*

Look at that purse. LOOK at it. When my fabulous father saw me drooling over this purse, he sighed and pulled out his wallet, saying he sometimes feels that I should have outgrown this by now.  I pranced around his house in Florida with my new purse checking myself out in every mirror I could find.  Even Emilee stared at me like I was nuts.  And you know what, it’s all good.  I love my purse!  I love every purse I’ve ever paid too much money for!

3) Feet

I’m not a fan of feet, actually.  I’m almost to the point of not being a fan that I even cringe when Emilee touches me with her feet.  I try not to, I mean, she’s my kid but damn it, she was born with her father’s feet!  I prayed and prayed while pregnant that she be born with my feet and her dad’s teeth.  But oh no, out she pops with her daddy feet.  Ah well, I will pay thousands in my lifetime for her pedicures, I accept this.

As for my own feet, my toe nails must always be painted.  I’m a huge fan of the pedicures!  I get them every three to four weeks in the summer, every 8 weeks in the winter usually.  I’ve even gone so far as to force one Miss ShaNaNa into the pedicure chair, scolded her ass off for the Easter Egg color she picked out (so did not match her skin tone) and refused to let her pick her own nail polish color from that point on.

As for other people’s feet, well … I tend to cringe when some get close to me.  Or when I see toes that gross me out.  Or when people have … ugh, bunions.  Now I know these can’t be helped, and I feel terrible for people who have them, but MY GOD MAN!  Cover that shit UP.  I don’t need to be seeing it!!

4) Car Payments

I must have one.  And the reason I must have one is, I must have a new car every two to three years.  I have never owned a car, I’ve always leased.  I have no idea about cars, how they run, or how to do much with them other than drive it, put gas in it and every now and again change the oil.  So if it breaks down or something happens to it?  I am thrown into all out panic mode.  So yes, I must always have a car payment.  I am, again, good with this.  And?  I get a new car every two or three years.

5) Toe Cleavage.

If you aren’t familiar with Toe Cleavage, please see this picture:

See how the lines of the toes are showing?  That, my friends, is precisely what Toe Cleavage is.

I have only one thing to say about Toe Cleavage.

NO!

In fact, let me add this.  HELL TO THE NO.

This was by far, the worst fashion “trend” to ever hit our streets.  I am so weird about this, I refuse to buy a pair of shoes even if the slightest bit of toe cleavage is showing.  No no.  No no no no no.  NO.

So, fill me in friends, what are your must haves?  What are your no no’s??

[Photo Courtesy of www.coach.com and blogs.dailyrecord.com]