Please To The Sad

Dear QT Readers,

First and foremost, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for the kind words, and the emails I’ve received regarding the “break up” with MOG.  I put the break up in quotes, because I think I can speak for him and myself when I say it wasn’t so much a break up more than it was a parting of friends, truly.

And in the manner of respecting privacy, his especially, because yes, he does know of my blog, please know I’m not at all sad, I’m definitely at peace with the parting.  It was the right thing to do, for him and for myself.

Once, a few months ago, I wrote this post.  A Kick in the Ass.   Read that one, and know I refer back to this now, because it’s exactly what I think could best describe MOG and myself, and without telling you all that it is a big bunch of NONEYA.

Hugs and love (with a side of bacon),

QT

Things You Should Know

1) McDonald’s breakfast when you are hungover is simply a must.

2) I sleep with my arm up  in the air.  Dick once took a picture of this in the middle of the night, and showed me in the morning.

3) My daughter, will be a first grader this year.  (WOW).  Upon hearing she’s in school until 4:00pm everyday, and not only half days like she had in kindergarten, her eyes got very huge and she promptly said, “I have school, everyday, in the classroom with a teacher till FOUR?”   I said “Yup.”  She stared at me and said, “Who the hell signed me up for this?”

Now. How the hell can one not laugh at that?  Seriously.  I love my kid.

Men, Women, Jealousy and Monogamy

To continue the discussion from the comments of Cookie’s blog …

Besos. And Rings.

Here is a level playing field folks.

Lay it on me.  Argue away.  I want to hear it all, and then I can throw in my two cents about how men are visual creatures and think of sex 95% of the time.   Oh wait, I just did!

(Kidding, kidding.  Okay just sort of.)

A Weekend With MOG

So Emilee was with her dad and their family on a short vacation to Niagara Falls this past weekend, which left me with an entire weekend, free.  As MOG and I are now on the same single parenting schedule, this meant that he was free as well.  So really, it looked something like this:

MOG + Free Time + QT + Free Time = MOG and QT spent the weekend together

As the weather was ridiculously cool, we decided to not go to the cottage but hang out around home.  And you know, we had a GREAT weekend together.  I even did the girl thing and dragged him to the mall as I was in absolute dire need of some new makeup.  I proceeded to yank him into all kinds of stores, and as we are in the beginning of the relationship, he tolerated all of this with a smile and a hug.  He did, at one point, say, “You are like a hurricane! In, do your damage, and out.”  Well yes, that’s the way to shop, isn’t it?

Ooooo Just Some This N That

1) Yesterday, Twitch was late for work.  When he came in, he sat down, rolled over to the middle of our area, and had a … I dunno, a look. He then announced, “I’ve been violated.”  Googlie and I rolled to the middle area to talk.  Twitch announced that he had just had a physical, and he then got quiet.  He still had … a look. He turned forty a few weeks back, and apparently when a man turns 40, the yearly physicals now include a prostrate check.   Googlie immediately made a sound of horror, and well, I didn’t know how they check the prostrate really, so ya know, I asked.  (I mean, okay, how would I know?)

Twitch stared at me and said, “He jellied up his latexed finger and put it far, very far up my ass.”

Okay see, then it was ME that had … a look.

2) As the weather around these here parts is supposed to be rainy this weekend, Make Out Guy, er um, my boyfriend, and myself are having a weekend at home.  Together.  *giggle*

3) This is my hand:

I know, it’s a shock that my hand is actually holding a drink, but yes yes, I do have drinks every now and again.  Also, RE took this picture when I was in Chi-Town.  And for some reason, this is RE’s most favorite picture of me.  Odd and yet, so not surprising.

4) Make Out Guy, er um, my boyfriend, well it’s his birthday next week.  I’m really sort of glad he’s not turning 40 yet (see number 1).  I digress.  After much discussion with my Cookie which sort of turned into an argument as well, I’ve got the perfect gift for him!  I’m excited.  Now I just need to figure out a cool way to give it to him.  Ideas are welcome. Oh and Cookie and I are no longer arguing, so no one be worried.

5) ShaNaNa drunk texted me last night at 1.10am announcing she was drunk.  I rolled over, opened one eye, read that and thought, “Dirty Whore is drunk without me.”  PFFFFFFFT.  I went back to sleep.

6) This is how Make Out Guy and I decided we were a couple:

See? This is how love works, people!

Clearly I know how to do this properly.

LEARN FROM ME.

7) Twitch just turned around and told me I should get married before I turn into a hunchback.  I told him thanks for his wise advice and asked how his asshole was feeling today.

Happy Weekend Friends!

Attention! Attention!

So it seems that I now, officially, have a …

Ready for this one?

I don’t know if I can get this out … let’s try …

A *squeeeeeeek* Damn, let me try again …

I officially have a *Cough*

A … ba-ba-ba …

HELLFIRE!

One more time …

How Do I Love Thee RE, with apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning

My Poem to my Cookie, Random Esquire …

How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.

I love thee for thy wisdom, an insight like no other
A point of view to cherish, you’re almost like my mother

I love thee for thy wit, the sarcasm I enjoy
Laughter always to follow, rolling eyes and saying “Oy!”

It is Little Filthy and I, that pug that you hold dear,
Yes we know the unseen,
You are a big softie, and oh ho ho, not so mean.

I love thee purely, for your love of breasts
always on the lookout, for the best of chests

My foot can reach, when feeling somewhat moody,
To kick that ass, (a smart one at that!) right in the patootie.

I love thee for thy mouth, always ready to eat,
even if it is usually some form of red meat

It is for you My Cookie, that I write these rhymes,
you mean the world to me, and found me just in time

It is for you My Cookie, that I continue this verse,
Even when most days, I want to slug you with my purse

And it is for you My Cookie, my motorboating friend,
that I intend,
From the here and now, to forever more offend.

The QT

Random Esquire and I decided to write poems about each other.  Clearly RE loves some QT.

Of course RE finished before I’ve even had a chance to begin so without further ado, I ask you to visit you some RE …

The QT

Feel free to comment here and there to let me know what you think of this fabulous poem!

Because really, only true friends call me a whore.

A Weekend Together and Bounce to Safety!

Well!  Given that Make Out Guy and myself are both single parents, coordinating our single parent schedules can be somewhat difficult.  We are managing quite nicely however, to see each other when our schedules do coincide.  And speaking of, this coming weekend, each of us do not have our kiddo’s.  And he asked if I wanted to go away for the weekend.  Alone.  With him. Up north to his cottage.

I promptly giggled and said yes.  QT is excited.

In other news, Em and I spent the weekend at our pool, where my hair turned white and her skin turned brown (she tans like no one’s business).  Emilee, God love her, is not a strong swimmer so she is not allowed in the deep end without me.  So, this past weekend when I finally did get my butt in the pool, I took her to the aforementioned deep end and I told her I wanted to see her tread water.  She said, “Okay Mom!”  We counted to three and I gently let her go.

She immediately sank like a stone to the bottom.

I immediately pulled her back up and said, “EMILEE!  Mom said tread water!”

“I know mama!” she said, “I did!”

I showed her again, what I meant by treading water.  I tread the water myself, showing her how to cup her hands and kick her feet.  She said ok, she was ready to try.  On the count of three, I let her go.

She sank like a stone.  Again.

This time however, she sank to the bottom of where she could touch, but before I could pull her back up, she used her feet to spring her back up where she shot out of the water and promptly shrieked, “BOUNCE TO SAFETY! BOUNCE TO SAFETY!”

And then sank again, where she pushed herself back up and out of the water like a gunshot, all the time yelling “BOUNCE TO SAFETY!”  People stopped and stared at her, as she screamed this every time she shot up out of water.  But I’ll be damned, she bounced herself to safety – right to the edge where she climbed out of the pool and announced, “MOM! I bounced to safety!” and she ran off to the shallow end, leaving the other parents staring at me like I just let my kid go in the water.

Which, technically I did, but ya know.

Clue #3: For Those With A Penis

It’s been a while, but of course, I am thinking another clue for our male friends is in order.  And please to the Not Forgetting, see the following:

Clue: For Those With A Penis #1

Clue: For Those With A Penis #2

So without further ado …

That would mean all of you boys out there.  Men, boys, males, those harboring a penis.  You know who you are.  At least you should by now.

I’m thinking, with no sarcasm at all, that perhaps you all may need some … clues.  Just general clues about chicks.  Women.  Girls.  Those in the female variety.  Those with a vagina.

While I won’t be giving away too much, what fun is that really, I think it’s important I clue you in on something that chicks love.  Women, girls, chicks.  Anyone with a vagina.

Ready?