Comments on: Warning, Danger Will Robinson!

By: vincent

vincent — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 15:13:37 +0000

I’m a 50 year old, never married (and no kids) professional male who feels quite comfortable and fulfilled with my chosen lifestyle. I’ve had several long term relationships (one lasted 11 years!) but never felt compelled to marry and nor did my partners. One important reason for this tis that from the time I was very young, I knew I never wanted to have children. And most women (at least in the US) do focus on that in a relationship. Because I was firmly against having any kids of my own, marriage made no sense or at least didn’t offer any substantive improvement to my living situation. Now that I’m 50, eligible women in my age group are far less interested in having a family or perhaps have already gone thru that process. So that takes alot of the pressure off. And I’m not opposed to marriage, it just simply doesn’t make practical sense for someone like me. I am very comfortable with this….it amazes me that others are disturbed by my chosen lifestyle. I get asked the same questions all the time. BTW: In Italy, where I lived for several years, “never married” men and women my age and older are quite common. It must be a cultural thing about we Americans who seem to focus so much on marriage and children.

By: QTMama

QTMama — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 13:42:01 +0000

Thank you MeisMommy. Really, thank you.

By: meismommy

meismommy — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 02:45:19 +0000

My first comment here:
My loser dad used to have this shitty witty saying that there is something either physically or mentally off with someone who makes it to 35 and has never been married and never had children.
You shouldn’t agree with such an asshole. You’re too good for that.

By: littlemansmom

littlemansmom — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 15:21:44 +0000

I have a couple of male friends (around my age) who are single, never been married, no kids etc…and to be honest, it’s because they have thrown themselves into their careers. They WANT those things, but want to be ‘established’ before getting them so that they can devote as much time as possible to their families etc. when the time comes and they know that they just didn’t have it in them to get where they wanted and have a successful social life. When I sit back and take a good look, I admire them for that. They want to give everything thier all…

By: QTMama

QTMama — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 14:15:25 +0000

You guys have some great comments here. I wish I had known then what I know now … I do believe life would be a bit easier. But as they say, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. And beer helps.

By: shannon

shannon — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 13:21:09 +0000

I think the very same thing. And I agree with Single Mama…I want a divorced person rather than a never married. I also think they might understand more where I’m coming from. Now about kids? I’ve dated both and married someone with full custody. It was definitely easier with the guy with no kids. I’m pretty selfish about thinking my girl is the center of the universe…it’s hard when someone bring their child in, to maintain that notion.

By: randomesq

randomesq — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 13:18:00 +0000

I think you’ve summed it up…when you meet men like this, it prompts questions.

I’m probably completely ignorant on this topic – but do people ask each other these things? Because I’d probably ask. I think Besos asked me questions like this, especially since Boss and I had been together 4 years and hadn’t decided we were IT for life.

Man, I think I just depressed myself.

By: bitchacrossthestreet

bitchacrossthestreet — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 01:30:23 +0000

Oh I know the answer to this one!

*clearing my throat*

Because they are losers.

By: Sunshine

Sunshine — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 00:20:39 +0000

This could also could turn the tables and soemone could think your a great person and wonder why your not with anyone, regardless of the past. I thought the same as you wrote about in the blog and yet someone brought it to my attention… your a great person but why are you single? Regardless of me beingmarried and divorced and have a son, I am single and unattached. My only words of advice is to be open with the possiblities that someone just has nto found the right one and decided to wait for that special someone.

By: Jane Wonder

Jane Wonder — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 22:36:54 +0000

Just to play devil’s advocate… does t really show they can commit? Because how committed do you have to be to leave?

(And yes it swings both ways. That’s why I’m always terrified of exposing my own past.)