PMS, The Wedding and The Mystery Man

I have PMS – in my own head, this can mean a few things. I’d like to share:

1) Puffy Mid-Section
2) Pissy Mood Syndrome
3) Pass My Sweatpants
4) Perpetual Munching Spree
5) Psychotic Mood Shift

All of the above five listed can apply at anytime, anywhere during PMS. Some months are better than others, and some months are just downright awful.  Most of the time, I can say that I’m not aware of my PMS, meaning, for women, it doesn’t FEEL like anything is wrong.  It’s when I start wondering why I’m eating everything in my kitchen, or why I can’t seem to get enough sleep that it occurs to me that perhaps a visitor is coming shortly.  Last night, after eating half a box of Chicken in a Biscuit’s (crackers for those not in the know), Dorito’s, a bowl of HoneyComb cereal, a bowl of soup and a big vine of grapes, it dawned on me that I’m overeating.  And THIS happens only once a month.  It also occurred to me that I am being overly sarcastic with people that annoy me.  Which, in turns out, is just about everyone in the world right now.  And for some unknown, odd PMS reason, my brain seems MORE quick-witted during this time of the month.  Even when I can’t think of a response to someone quickly enough?  A mere raise of a single eyebrow with an expression of distaste does wonders.  I have tried very hard to perfect Blank Face (brought to my attention by Random Esquire), but in all reality?  I suck at it. 

I have been invited to a wedding that is on August 9th.  A friend, PC, is coming to town to stay for the weekend and be my date.  I have decided that the current dresses I have are no longer something I want to wear and I must shop for a new one.  Which of course, means I must find time with  ShaNaNa to go shopping.  Dresses can be as alarming to buy as bathing suits – so it’s important I find a good one.  Plus, I do believe there will be single men at this wedding, and single girls for PC.  We will have a good time, we always did.

The Mystery Man and I are still in contact, although at this point, it’s been only electronically.  Which by all means, seems to be the way of things nowadays.  I like him.  And I hope to see him again one day.  The question is, should I invite that to happen?  He is a firefighter.  A very handsome one at that.  Is it wrong, that I find his career choice incredibly sexy?  Incredibly. Sexy.