Music Moods, Updates and TGIF

I must admit, the last few days have not been the best in my little world.  Work has been stressful for reasons that will remain unknown to most of you.  No offense, but I will rarely blog about what I do for a living, or where.  I am employed, and for that, I’ve thrown a few prayers up to the Big Guy saying thank you.  On top of the stress there, I have the aforementioned PMS.  This, of course, just seems to make everything so much worse.  And then, there is the dealing with my mistakes in terms of Dick.  That has probably been the hardest part for me.  I’m working my way through it, with the help of friends (Bella - you’re the best, Jenn - I’ve missed you darlin, Jane - Thank You, ShaNaNa - I didn’t need a ride but thank you!  ), and all of you of course.  Your comments and support have made a big difference! And I love each of you for it. 

Today is brighter. Much brighter.  And this morning I heard this song on the way to work:

That song just perked my butt right up for some reason.  So, I wanted to share it just in case it could do the same for someone else. 

Irishman and I are still in contact, and he is doing fabulously well.  I miss him.  I have not mentioned another trip there - I need a break, I swear!  It’s overwhelming sometimes the amount of fun that can be had there.  *grin* Of course, ask me this again next week and I’ll have a different answer I’m sure.

Emilee is with me this weekend and the weather is yet again, hot and humid.  More time by the pool I’m sure.  We have a graduation party to attend, I am seriously hoping it’s held INSIDE because being outside in 90 degree weather when the humidity is as thick as soup really is not fun. 

I am off to write a response email to my FireMan.  *wiggling eyebrows*

Have a great weekend!!

PMS, The Wedding and The Mystery Man

I have PMS - in my own head, this can mean a few things. I’d like to share:

1) Puffy Mid-Section
2) Pissy Mood Syndrome
3) Pass My Sweatpants
4) Perpetual Munching Spree
5) Psychotic Mood Shift

All of the above five listed can apply at anytime, anywhere during PMS. Some months are better than others, and some months are just downright awful.  Most of the time, I can say that I’m not aware of my PMS, meaning, for women, it doesn’t FEEL like anything is wrong.  It’s when I start wondering why I’m eating everything in my kitchen, or why I can’t seem to get enough sleep that it occurs to me that perhaps a visitor is coming shortly.  Last night, after eating half a box of Chicken in a Biscuit’s (crackers for those not in the know), Dorito’s, a bowl of HoneyComb cereal, a bowl of soup and a big vine of grapes, it dawned on me that I’m overeating.  And THIS happens only once a month.  It also occurred to me that I am being overly sarcastic with people that annoy me.  Which, in turns out, is just about everyone in the world right now.  And for some unknown, odd PMS reason, my brain seems MORE quick-witted during this time of the month.  Even when I can’t think of a response to someone quickly enough?  A mere raise of a single eyebrow with an expression of distaste does wonders.  I have tried very hard to perfect Blank Face (brought to my attention by Random Esquire), but in all reality?  I suck at it. 

I have been invited to a wedding that is on August 9th.  A friend, PC, is coming to town to stay for the weekend and be my date.  I have decided that the current dresses I have are no longer something I want to wear and I must shop for a new one.  Which of course, means I must find time with  ShaNaNa to go shopping.  Dresses can be as alarming to buy as bathing suits - so it’s important I find a good one.  Plus, I do believe there will be single men at this wedding, and single girls for PC.  We will have a good time, we always did.

The Mystery Man and I are still in contact, although at this point, it’s been only electronically.  Which by all means, seems to be the way of things nowadays.  I like him.  And I hope to see him again one day.  The question is, should I invite that to happen?  He is a firefighter.  A very handsome one at that.  Is it wrong, that I find his career choice incredibly sexy?  Incredibly. Sexy.

Tuesday’s Thoughts

It’s been a while since I’ve given some random thoughts, and I have plenty rolling around in my head, so here we go:

1) Rock Bottom was yesterday.  Today is the new start, and thus far, I’ve no mistakes to report.  *grin*

2) I met a boy on a dating website.  We’ve been talking on the phone for a while now, I think it’s time to meet in person.  He is a single dad, which I of course, find wonderful.  So Single Dad has a very quick wit and makes me laugh.  I appreciate this.  Yesterday, upon the end of our conversation, I mentioned I’d give him a call later in the week.  He made the sarcastic comment of “Later in the week?  What?  Fine, fine, make it later, that’s FINE.  If we don’t talk again, I’m fine with that …” and on and on he went, joking around.  I waited for him to finish and when he did, I quietly said “Liar”.  He sat in stunned silence until I busted out laughing.  I believe he appreciated my arrogant comment.

3) My crush on Corey Haim has not subsided. 

4) I finished the book that Random Esquire sent to me, Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea. I finished it a while ago, as a matter of fact.  I have never, and I do mean NEVER, laughed so hard at a book that I’ve read.  From her hilarious father to her getting her ass kicked by three girls, I laughed my way through it.  I had odd looks from people as I sat reading that book, because I would bust out laughing for no apparent reason.  If you ever have the chance, read the book.  It’s fabulous.  And thank you, RE, for thinking of me.  You are truly a gem.  *HUGS*

5) Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.  At least this is what I’ve read.  Somehow, I don’t picture cute little Barbie with a middle name of Millicent

6) Why is it, every man I meet that I have a connection with, lives in a different state? Can someone please explain this to me??

7) Emilee loves to use the word SEXY.  And I feel quite odd about that. 
“Mama, does this look sexy?”  says my girl, showing me her outfit.
“Honey you’re five, it does not look sexy, and I think we should not use that word, please.”
“Damn!” she says. 

8 ) Today I sat in my car waiting for a train.  I watched a man in the car next to me attack his nose with his finger like he was trying to stab his brain.  The funny thing is, he turned and looked at me, with his finger up his nose, and went at it harder.  I almost found myself rooting for him.  “Get that booger, GO GO!”

9) I’ve recently come into contact via the web with people from High School.  Now, I went to an all-girl Catholic High School.  And the thing is?  I pretty much was annoyed by everyone there.  And now they are all writing me like … we use to be friends.  I’m not good at pleasantries.  At all. 

Adventures of a Stupid QTMama

I believe publicly shaming myself is in order.  Perhaps this way, if something like this happens again, I’ll be reminded of just how stupid I can be.  And just how shitty he can make me feel.

Saturday night - 3am.  I’m sleeping, as most people are at this time.  My phone starts to alert me that I have text messages - and many of them.  I finally wake and check my phone - it’s Dick.  And the texts say “I’m laying in your driveway, come get me!” I do not believe this could be happening, so I tiptoe out to my front window, and yes, there he is, laying in my driveway.  Literally.  Laying down in my driveway.  I head into the garage and open the garage door, and stare at him.  It’s been a while since I’ve seen him.  I have to laugh, as he’s just laying there grinning.  He jumps up and comes over and says hello, and I can smell the liquor on his breath.  I sigh inwardly, as I’m always good enough to visit when he’s drunk and wants a booty call.  Never anytime else, though.  I remember the last time I texted and asked if he was happier without Emilee and I.  He said yes.  I remember how that hurt me, too.  

To make this long story short, in the end, and to my shame, I gave him what he wanted.  We never did have chemistry issues, we still don’t.

It’s my rock bottom, people.  HE is my weakness.  My heart … it’s still healing.  I loved him once, and loved him like I had loved no other.  I know he has no interest in anything other than sex, and yet … I still had a tiny flicker of the damn thing called hope.  I hoped.  I hoped he would see how stupid he was for letting Emilee and I go.  I hoped he was going to realize his big mistake.  I hoped he missed being a part of the something special we once were.  I hoped he’d touch me again and realize that he does still love me.  I hoped.  And in the end, was left alone.  And ashamed.   That old wound had the band aid ripped off and it’s bleeding, yet again.

A wise person told me there is no where to go once you’ve hit Rock Bottom but up.  And so I begin my climb … yet again.  This time, I want to make it. 

[Photo Courtesy of ivangottaclue.blogspot.com]

*Blink*

Today, someone told me this:

“I’m impressed you are a single mom, I’d bet you are awesome with your daughter.”

The man that told me this is not my Irishman.  It’s not PokerMan.  It’s not EyeLashMan.  It’s not BaldMan.  It’s not Corey Haim (dammit!). In all honesty, I’ve never had ONE of these men tell me that - not even Irishman, who can almost do no wrong in my eyes.  But he’s never said that to me.

The man that said that to me?  Interesting story for another time.  I’m keeping it to myself at the moment, but I can say this.  He has me at hello.

I Think I Love Him

 Who you may ask?  It’s Corey Haim.  I’m addicted to the show The Two Corey’s.  ADDICTED.  I loved him when I was a young girl, I love him now.  It’s never gone away.  Now I watch the show and watch him; I see the hurt and see that he’s trying.  You all probably think I’m stupid, but I admit it.  I feel for him.  *sigh* Ahh Corey Haim, where for art thou?

I admitted this evening to Random Esquire that I scheme in my head ways to meet him.  Am I ill?  Seriously.

[Photo Courtesy www.irishurls.com]

Las Vegas, The Irishman, Jane Wonder and Me - Part Two

A bit more detail about our night at the Golden Nugget.  After BlackJack Smooching between Irishman and I, and Irishman’s BFF and Jane, we all head out onto Fremont Street looking for something to do.  We decide to play some roulette where my Irishman won.  We then decide to hit the bar and play a bit of video poker, where my Irishman won - yet again.  While I’m busy trying to tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue, I am informed that Jane is upset about something.  I get concerned when BFF tells me she left abruptly to head for the bathroom.  I head into the bathroom - Jane is there, however, she wasn’t upset - she was ill.  *grin*  Too much liquor of different kinds was not friendly on her tummy.  She says for me leave.  I stood there shaking my head no, while she was in the stall.  Clearly my drunk ass thought she could see me shaking my head no. I offer to hold her hair, to which she madly refuses.  She tells me to leave again and I give her a flat out “no”.  At this point it didn’t matter, all of the upsetness that was in her tummy came out and she felt much better.  *burp*  Back out to the bar for some more drinking! We decide food is a good idea, and Irishman declares he is drunk.  I declare I am drunk as well.  We grin and start walking towards the restaurant.  Or trying to walk.

After stumbling back to our room at 8am, drunk as drunk can be, Irishman and I promptly call the front desk to see if we can have late check out.  We are given a big, fat no and decided some sleep was in order.  And so, a couple of hours later we are up and checking out of the hotel.  The drive back was a tired one, and we arrive back at Irishman’s house with the intention of sleeping.  Jane heads to her room where she sleeps till 6.30pm that night.  Irishman and I head to his room and he sleeps as well.  Me?  I lay there.  I slept not one wink.  Not for lack of trying, mind you.  But sleep was not in the cards for me.  I finally decided the effort was not working and I was heading downstairs to watch some TV and not bother my very cute sleeping Irishman.  I watched two movies and at 6pm, I see someone peeking over the couch.  He had awoken, alone and was wondering where I was.  Having slept two hours, not having showered yet and still wearing my makeup from the night before, I’m sure I looked quite gorgeous.  *wink* Regardless, he is concerned about my lack of sleep as he has to work that night, which in turn, means another late night out. 

I decide to power through it.  I head upstairs for the shower and am surprisingly wide awake and somewhat hyper.  How that came to be I’ll never know, but there it was.  We all leave for the pub at 8pm - Jane and I looking super cute in our Vegas outfits.  Jane and I decide to eat and walk the strip a bit before heading into the pub for the night.  We had a good time and finally head into the pub around 11pm or so.  And here, we finally grab some drinks - which again, surprisingly, go down quite smoothly.  Two more beers later and even Miss Wonder was singing some Irish songs and moving her foot.  Getting Jane to dance was almost like getting Emilee to get broccoli … just ain’t gonna happen.  While I certainly have no issues dancing around by myself, I feel that Jane should reach beyond her normal ways of behavior - as after all, we are in Vegas.  I buy her more drinks.  I dance around her.  I bump into her with my hip.  I take her hands and OH MY GOD, Miss Wonder is finally dancing, singing and clapping.  We meet some boys and dance with them for a little bit.  We sing Irish songs and clap along, we drink even more beer and life, as they say, was all good.

More to come …

Las Vegas, The Irishman, Jane Wonder and Me

Lordie what a fantastic four days.  Jane and I had an absolute BLAST together.  First and foremost, she is a fabulous woman, surely the Wonder I knew she was going to be.  Our four days consisted of MUCH drinking, MUCH gambling, MUCH girl stuff, MUCH dancing (Even Jane Wonder danced!  You go girl), MUCH talking, MUCH of me and my Irishman, MUCH Irish music, and MUCH fun.  The trip was a success, 100% . 

On our first day there, Irishman rented us two rooms at The Golden Nugget so we could have some fun, sit at the simply fabulous pool they have there and have some drinks.  What a great, sweet idea!  The weather was unbelievably hot, so most of our time was spent in the pool.  And the water slide!  Jane and I both fretted about our hair, our bathing suits and everything else girls are self-conscious about.  We got along so well, it worked out perfectly.  Irishman and I had our sights set on each other per our norm, and I have to say, if he and I lived closer, I do think there would be quite the relationship going on.  Regardless, we always make the most of our time together, and this trip was no exception.  We spent the evening at the Irish pub, drinking, dancing and watching Irishman sing.  After Irishman was done with work, we headed back to downtown Vegas and the Nugget and spent the rest of the night gambling, drinking, and having an absolute ridiculously fun time.  At the BlackJack table, Irishman made the declaration that for every 21 that was hit, a kiss was to be had.  Since Irishman’s friend was there, I do believe Jane got a few kisses herself.  I will let her expand on that aspect, but I will say we sure did liven up that place for a few hours.  We finally went back to the room at 8am that morning, after sitting down for some breakfast, oh and me with my beer.  *grin* I should say, we finally stumbled back to our room, and as checkout was at 11am, we slept for a very small amount of time.  This turned out to be the norm for our trip however. 

… To be continued …

12 Hours

Twelve hours.  That’s the extent of sleep I had while in Vegas for four nights.  I’m not sure how I’m walking, talking, working or even standing.  Jane Wonder and I had a very fun, very drunk time.  As my brain is not in great working order, I’ll be updating soon.

Vegas and Irishman, Here WE COME!

Today is the day people.  TODAY.  This evening I will be seeing my Irishman, hearing him sing yet again, seeing Jane Wonder, Irishman’s friend, and having myself some cocktails while I wait for Jane’s plane to land.  I can barely sit still.  Bella, I will probably bug you all day as I can’t concentrate!  Jane Wonder, I’ll be bugging you all day as well I’m SURE, you packing fool! 

On a side note, I will not be posting while I’m gone.  Jane Wonder may be posting, so be sure to check her blog just in case you’re wondering how things are going.  Have a great 4th of July, everyone!  I know we will be.