Blog Trolls, Piggy Flu and DJBlueEyes

I’ve been pretty lucky in my blogging actually.  I’ve not had many blog trolls.  What? What is a blog troll you may ask?  Well, let me give you the definition I found, online:

Troll: In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.

Ahhh trolls.  You know, I am all for constructive commentary.  In fact, even commentary that is in disagreement with my position is welcome, as long as it’s presented in such a manner that is … I dunno, reasonable.  Sane. But those that come and comment on blogs that attack the person, their beliefs, their family, their readers?  Yeah, those people are trolls.  And they are simply, in my opinion, not welcome … here.  Perhaps some bloggers welcome the controversy.  And if so, that is your right.  It IS your blog.

Thankfully, I’ve got me no trolls … yet.  I’m assuming my time will come too.  Of course, this post may just prompt one to pop out of their dungeon!  *Laugh*   And while I won’t mention any blogs by name, you know who you are, and know this too. You’ve a great blog, you’re a great mom and I heart you.  :)

Oink Oink

Ohhhhhhh, I’ve missed my blog!  I’ve missed my work! I’ve missed Googlie and Twitch (a.k.a. Boobs)!  I’ve missed each of you! I’ve missed reading your blogs!

Where have I been?  Miss Emilee has tested positive for Swine Flu.  Yup, the H1N1 has hit our household.  My poor girl has been sick since Saturday, with her fever reaching as high as 103.7 at one point.  Even with Tylenol/Motrin, she still had the fever at around 100 at the lowest.  I about fell off the table at the doctor’s office when they told us she tested positive!  However, the good news is, she’s doing SO MUCH BETTER and has not had a fever for over 24 hours at this point.  So far, I feel fine.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

I did not get her vaccinated for the H1N1.  Her dad and I discussed this at length, and it was our decision together to not get the vaccination.  She does not have asthma, diabetes or any type of breathing issues.   And now, well now she’s built her own antibodies to the strain, and yes, I’m okay with that.

As a side note, I’m not trying to start any sort of controversy here, people!  :)  I’m just sayin …

 

Oink Oink.

I have much catching up to do, I’m sure many of you will have some QT Comment Bombs!!

 

 

Things I Love About This Blog

It’s interesting to me, this crazy world of blogging.  We are a community.   The definition of community?  ”A group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists.”  While my specific genre is that of Single Parenthood, we all know I blog about other things as well. The Weird Things, the dating, the daughter, etc.  Yet my single parent friends are still here, rooting me on, giving me support in times of need, laughing with me and so on.    And then I have the non-single parent friends that are here as well.  This blog has brought me not only into a new community, but brought me friends I know I’ll have for this lifetime.  I’m thankful.

I love that my family does not know about my blog.  Not mom, dad or any of my relatives.

I love that only my super close friends know about my blog.  ShaNaNa, Jenn, Wingman and LetEmBreathe.  Yup, always and forever friends.

Happily Ever After and Practicality

In a recent conversation with a friend of mine, we were speaking of relationships, past and present, and what we are looking for now versus what we were looking for in our twenties.

And it made me smile.  You know, when I married my husband, I did it because I did love him.  I loved him as much as a 22-year-old girl can.  He was (and still is) a good man, a great father and all around a good guy.  I married him believing with my  heart and soul that he was my happily ever after.  And as we grew up, we grew apart.  Combine that with the fact that we had very little chemistry (read: not good for your sex life) and I realize now, with these 37-year-old eyes, that it was doomed.  I do believe had the chemistry been there, we’d be together.  And happy.  But it wasn’t, and I admit to yearning for more.  A lot more.

And then I found the Chemistry.  (Read: Dick).  Oh boy did I find some chemistry.  And when I found that chemistry, I realized all the things that had been missing in my marriage.  Or so I thought.  Because even though I found that chemistry, there was still no happily ever after.  Like, at all.  *Eye Roll* I wanted there to be, I worked for there to be, but alas, no one can have happily ever after with a complete knob.

I think, when I was younger, I wanted that happily ever after.  And as I’ve grown up, grown wiser perhaps, I can look at relationships with more practical eyes and know what it is that I’m wanting out of a relationship.   Chemistry? Yes, and not only in the bedroom.  Happily Ever After?  Yes, and not only for me but for Miss Emilee.

So basically, I’m looking for it all.  Everything.  The whole damn package.

That’s not so much to ask, is it?  Really?

[Photo Courtesy of  jiggsatworkonnet.blogspot.com]

Weird Thing of the Week

Last week, I got into an elevator and took it to the first floor.  As the doors opened, I was about to exit but a man was waiting to enter.  He was about to move aside to let me off of the elevator when he abruptly stopped.  Which had me abruptly stopping as I had already taken a step forward.

So I stop, sort of look at him and he’s staring at me.  In fact, he’s got a bit of a shocked look on his face.

“Can I have your phone number?”

*Blink*

What the hell?  I immediately turned my head around, started looking for who the hell this guy is talking to.  Seeing no one, I turn back around to face him and said, “Excuse me?”

“Can I have your phone number?” he asks.

Except this time, he said it louder so I could hear him.  A lot louder as a matter of fact.

I stared at him.  I mean, what the hell?  Not even a hey how are ya or some kind of typical come on line?  Nothing?

So I was a bit uncomfortable because now the elevator is making an awful beeping noise as the doors have been held open too long, and I said, “Ummm, excuse me.”

I exited the elevator, dodging him as fast as I could.

Things That Make Me Laugh … And Probably Shouldn’t

Anyone who reads my blog with any regularity, knows this will of course, be number one.

1) People Falling Down

My head tells me that when someone falls down in front of me, like if they really bite it …

*excuse me while I take a break as I’m laughing too hard to t y p e*

… A person’s first instinct should be to see if the falling person, is … well, ya know, okay.  Are they hurt.

Me?  Not so much.  I immediately burst into laughter that is so overly uncontrollable that I often get shot dirty looks from others in the vicinity of the person that fell.  For example, Jenn.  My BFF.  She, Random Esquire and myself were walking to a bar one night when Jenn fell down.  On the sidewalk.  Right in front of me.  Her purse went one way, Jenn went … well, just.  Down.  Now keep in mind that RE and Jenn had JUST met, maybe an hour or so earlier.  So Jenn falls, I see her purse fly and I see her go, well.  Down.  I immediately burst into hysterics, laughing uncontrollably.  I then see RE look at me like I’m nuts, so I turned around and ran into a doorway so I could laugh in the corner by myself.  Which leaves RE to help Jenn up, to ask if she’s alright, to help her get her purse, rub off the dirt, things like that.

Now doesn’t this just want make you want to be my friend?!  HMMM?

2) When my grandma had dementia

See, if I hadn’t laughed at this, I would have cried.  A lot.  My granny, what a sweet lady.  But as she got older, she got more and more well, just … angry.  See, the dementia set in and mixed with the anger?  Yeah, sometimes she was just not happy.  Like the time she wanted to go for a walk.  In the middle of winter.  Three degrees out.  It was snowing. Hard.  My mom said no, it was not a good time.  Granny?  Got angry.  Really angry.  And proceeded to call the police to report that she was being held hostage.  Four screaming police cars and many cops later?  It was understood that Granny was in fact safe and sound, with my mom.

Or the other time that we were having corn on the cob, and I see her trying to wrap a piece of sliced cheese around her corn, and I said, “Granny! What are you doing?”  She stared at me and said, “Well there’s no God Damned butter on this table! I don’t know what you people do with your butter around here!”

See, this shit is funny.  Sad?  Yes, that too.  But damn funny.

Hand Motions, Grounded! and Other Possibly Offensive Stuff

1) Yesterday I was telling Emilee a story about something her dad did once upon a time. Just a funny story about her daddy, being the funny guy he is.

She stared at me after I finished and said, “That’s fiction!”

*Blink*

WTF?  How can you not love my kid?  Seriously.

2) WARNING:  I apologize in advance for anyone that may be offended at this one.

The game, F Marry Kill. Have you heard of this? You give people three choices, three people choices to be exact. Their job is to kill one, marry one and well, ahem, fuck one. And they can only choose one for each. This is typically a game that is best played when drinking methinks, but regardless, it can be a funny game. Celebrities are used often, of course. So one time, my choice was the following:

Christian Slater
Corey Haim
Scott Baio

My mouth dropped open! COREY HAIM! I immediately killed Scott Baio, had sex with Christian Slater and married Corey Haim. WOO HOOO! Easy choices. Sometimes though, you sorta puzzle around cuz you don’t know WHO to kill.

Seriously, what a terrible game.

But my evil side thinks is one of the most fun games ever.

I’m going to hell.

3) I type approximately 97 words per minute. I just noticed my keyboard has the letters E and O rubbed off. I do not find this interesting, yet I have to wonder. Do my fingers push on the E and O more so than any other letter? Hmmmm …

4) My dad grounded ShaNaNa and I when we were in Florida one night. Apparently not calling when you’re going to be late (very late)  is still not cool with your dad, even when you’re 37 years old.

*Shame Face*

I admit to laughing at this though, I haven’t been grounded in a long time!

5) I mentioned the German guys we met in yesterdays post. One of the boys consistently wore bowling shoes. Like, as a part of his outfit. When ShaNaNa pointed that out to him, he says, “I bowl!” with a hand motion. You know, the motion of bowling.  Except …

Sunshine and ShaNayNay

I would like to be the first one to say, being home from Florida sucks.  Oh my goodness, did we have some fun.  The weather cooperated in an insanely poetic way, giving us sunshine at the 85 degree mark, with a cool breeze coming in off the ocean to keep us from sweating profusely.  I truly love Florida.  The views are stunning, seeing the ocean is not something I get to see on a daily basis so I never take it for granted.  The palm trees?  LOVE THEM.  The streets are clean and clear, the left turn lights are endless long but we had a convertible.  Just more sun for us.  The convertible did, however, only have a V4 engine so I felt like I was riding at more of a scooter pace, as my car at home is a V6 and Shan drives a V8.  We are speedsters, what can I say?

I danced in the waves at the shore under the stars, laughed when we had our boobs bouncing in the boat, bought a new swimsuit that actually does not look half bad, laughed when Shan got burrs stuck in her feet on the beach, sat in the sunshine happily knowing my hair was going to get more blonde, and drank enough to keep a small army boozed up.

Yup, good trip.  My only complaint was the small amount of sleep we had.  You see, for some reason, if I get my drink on?  I seem to sleep for 3 hours and then BING!  I’m awake.  Wide freaking awake. No amount of lying there praying for sleep helps.  I’ve been this way for a long time, I accept it.  And because I drank enough Friday night to keep that small army boozed up, I was wide awake about 3.5 hours after falling asleep.  I rolled around enough to make ShaNaNa wake, got the stink eye from her on that one, and promptly decided some coffee was in order.  When the coffee didn’t help the way I was feeling, we decided perhaps that a bit of the hair of the dog that bit us may help.  So what did we do?  Hit a liquor store.  WOO HOO!  How smart are we, seriously?  It worked.  Game on.

Florida Bound

Alright folks,  this Mama and one ShaNaNa – headed to Florida to soak up some rays and drink up their beer.

I wish you all a fantastic week, I’m officially, on vacation.

With love, martini’s and bacon,

QT

Stuff of the Random Sort

1) This morning, after dropping Em off at school, I stopped to get some gasoline.  It was fricken cold this morning, and I hate getting gas when it’s cold out, but alas, my gas gauge was in the E position with 7 miles to go before empty.  Dammit.  So, when standing there freezing my ass off, a man walked up to me and said, “So I’ve been noticing you not noticing me.”  I had to laugh.

2) ShaNaNa and I leave for Florida in less than a week for our 2nd annual girls weekend (five days) to Florida.   WOOOOOOO!!!  Beaches and bouncing boobs, here we come!

3) Yesterday, I was working at my desk when I got an IM from Twitch.  It said the following:

“You need to move to China.”   With this link: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,562341,00.html?test=latestnews

Yeah go ahead and click on that.

I admit to staring in shock and then actually, busting out laughing.  What a tool but MAN I LOVE HIM.

4) I have a date on Saturday night with DJBlueEyes.  I’m quite excited.  He found a place that apparently serves over 185 different types of martini’s. My eyes almost bulged out of my head when I heard this, and I immediately said, “How did you find this place?!  Wait.  Just wait. More importantly?  How did I not know about this place?!”

5) I turn 37 in less than a week.  I love my 30’s.  I love my 30’s.  I love my 30’s.  I love my 30’s. I love my 30’s.

6) I’m kind of an ass sometimes.  Seriously.  DJ was very open about telling me how much he enjoys the time we spend together.  I mean, I am not so sure I’m use to a man being open about his feelings.  When he finished, I sort of had that feeling that I should say something in return.  I mean, just sitting there is not quite cool, ya know?  But I sort of had a panic moment and didn’t know WHAT to say.  But at the same time, I did have things TO say.  Ugh.  It’s like a vicious circle.  So what does QT do?

“I like the way you dress!”  QT blurts.

Mmm Hmmm.  Nice.

7) You know Wingman has lots of pictures from his weekend visit, from the reunion, from the bar outings, etc.  You catch my drift.  The funny thing is, he’s got a picture of Make Out Guy and I standing together at the bar from the one night – on FaceBook.  I really really REALLY (really) wanted to comment under it … “Look!  My boyfriend for a day!” because well, that makes me laugh.  I fear, however, that I’d be the only one laughing.

8 ) I believe I talk to my ex-husband NOW more than I ever did when we were married.

9) These are the flowers DJBlueEyes brought me for our 2nd date.  Yup, two dates.  Two sets of flowers.  Lilies.  I heart Lilies.

10) I need a new bathing suit.  *Wince* Ugh, I loathe going bathing suit shopping.