Maybe … Maybe Not

Six Months. Holy hell. SIX MONTHS.

That’s a helluva long time for me not to blog. I almost feel the urge to say I’m sorry, but I have to tell you … I’m not. As much as I love you all so very much and believe me stopping writing has led me to have some severe guilt … but people, something dawned on me after my BIL passed away. And to quote an old favorite …

 Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

So … I did. I stopped. And  yes, maybe it didn’t take me a day or a week or a month to look around – *Laugh* Hell or even two months. Yet in the end, I came to realize that certain things simply had to change. And where does change start?

With me.

And dammit, I am a work in progress but I couldn’t be happier about it. I can’t promise to be back to blogging full time – and I sincerely love and appreciate all the emails I’ve received – yes, I am okay. And yes, I’m happy. In fact, I’m … really happy. I don’t feel like I’m floundering anymore, rather that I’ve found the place I’m supposed to be.

Not to worry however, Emilee (OF COURSE!), bacon, martini’s and beer still have a major impact in my life. A girl can only change the stuff that doesn’t make her happy.

-QT

Photo Courtesy of [http://welcometoourreality.blogspot.com/2012/03/well-said.html]

Ya Know What?

1)  Emilee is turning NINE next month. NINE. This will be her last year in the single digits, EVER. That’s a big deal to me. SNIFF.

2) Heading to Manhattan at the end of January. Drinking it up New York style, my friends!

3) My favorite FB status this week: “Sorry about all the typos lately, gays.” <– LOVE LOVE LOVE! I literally, laugh out loud when I think of this.

4) Thinks it’s important that you know that my two car vagina is not filled with cobwebs at the moment. Much to Random Esquire’s dismay. Cuz My Cookie loves my vag to be all cobwebby.

5) This past weekend, while laying in bed with Mr. Sticks, I asked him a question that I think he may have answered in a … sexist way.

His response to me, well, let’s just say that I did the *BLINK* for a second before laughing. A lot.

“I’m not sexist! Being sexist is wrong and being wrong is for women.”

Um … HAHAHHAHA

6) Today we had our weekly team meeting. Upon arriving at the meeting room (the table in the room where I sit) I am greeted by The Boobs in this manner:

“Don’t sit there!” as I go to sit in a certain comfey seat. This was said with such urgency I kind of did that half-sitting yet half-halting myself FROM sitting sweet move.

“OMG, why, what happened?” I asked, as I managed to right myself into a standing position.

“Nothing,” says Twitch as he manhandles me out-of-the-way. “I want to sit here.”

*BLINK*

7) Em looked super cute the other night when she had … I dunno, something cute going on.

“Em!” I said, “Let me take your picture! You look too cute.”

“Sorry,” she tells me. “No flash photography.”

*BLINK*

8 ) I think Mr. Sticks and I have hit a relationship first. For me, anyway. Kind of. Sort of. He started it!

I was using the bathroom at his house the other day, like LITERALLY sitting there peeing when he just walked in. On me. On me PEEING. In the bathroom. I must have stared at him in utter shock because he grinned and said, “Babe. We’re there.”

Um … okay. But then I couldn’t finish peeing while he stood there shaving. And he knew I was having a hard time because he goes, “Want me to run the water?”

Ugh. So embarrassing. I haven’t peed in front of someone since I was married! *Laugh*

 

By the way, that’s MY hand in that picture up there. HAHAHA Taken by the famous RE(tard). 

You Know What That Is? It’s GasLighting

Those are the words that My Cookie said to me when I was finished explaining the situation.

“Dude! You know what that is, don’t you? It’s Gas Lighting,” Cookie said to me.

“What the hell is Gas Lighting?” I ask.

“The term comes from an old movie starring Ingrid Bergman …” and as My RE(tard) went on, I listened and all of a sudden, I realized, HOLY HELL. My Cookie was right.

Okay, so what is Gas Lighting, you may ask just as I did? Let me give you the Wikipedia response to that:

From the film’s title, “gaslighting” has come to describe a pattern of psychological abuse in which the victim is gradually manipulated into doubting his or her own reality. This can involve physical tactics (such as moving or hiding objects) or emotional ones (such as denying one’s own abusive behavior to a victim.) The effect is to maintain the abuser’s self-image as a sympathetic person, while simultaneously priming the disoriented victim to believe that he or she is to blame for (potentially escalating) mistreatment.

Yep, I was Gas Lighted.

Happy New Beer!

I am not making any resolutions this year, my friends. Honestly I’m still working on the resolutions I made in 2007. *Laugh* I am however, hoping that that the New Year brings me the ridiculously unattainable things that 2011 didn’t!

I think the last few blog postings have been so centered on family, death and grieving that it’s time to get you guys caught up on what I originally started this blog about! Bacon, Booze, Boys and Beer!

• Christmas Eve festivities were held at my house this year, in which I centered all aspects of food around … you guessed it. Bacon! We had Bacon-Wrapped Water Chestnuts to start, a Bacon Herb Crusted Beef Tenderloin for the main course, accompanied by shots of Bacon Vodka to those who wanted to cleanse their pallet before eating the beef, Bacon and Cheddar Cheese Biscuits, Roasted Red Potatoes with Bacon and of course, to complete the meal, Brioche Bread Pudding – this of course, has bacon in it. Let me just say that yes, perhaps a few people stared in shock at all of the bacon, but you know what else?
  Not a damn one of them complained.
• I can only talk so much about booze, but seriously, booze is awesome. I think that about covers it.

And Life Moves On …

I would love to sit here and tell you just how hectic things have been for me lately, just how busy I’ve been. Yet in honesty, I can’t say that. Things have been the same, even when you don’t want them to be.

I’ve had a hard time with my blog lately, truth be told. There is so much I want to say, and probably for the first time ever, I’m having a hard time getting the words to the screen.

What things are doing is changing. Lots and lots of changes for me. I’ve come to realize that during the illness followed by the quick death of my BIL that some things you are so utterly certain of … become not so certain. Some things you feel about people change in a heartbeat. Some things you think you know, you really just don’t know, ya know?

I was certain that when my BIL passed away, that my brother would call my sister.

He never did.

I was certain that my sister would have a hell of a time paying for the funeral/memorial for my BIL, and I worked hard to see what I could do to help her with that cost.

To our utter shock, BIL’s boss and company paid for everything. 

I was certain that some people in my life would be there for me, just to give me a hug or ask how things were going or hell, how my sister was doing. To buy me a drink, to offer some type of support.

They weren’t.

I was certain that some people in my life would not be there for me, just to give me a hug or ask how things were going or hell, how my sister was doing. To buy me a drink, to offer some type of support.

They were.

I was certain that friends I made long ago were just that … long ago.

Until we received flowers/donations/support from friends we (I) hadn’t seen in over 10 years.

 

And life moves on my readers. Christmas is coming, a time for family and loved ones.  And for me it moves on with this one thought:

Tomorrow is not a promise, only a hope. So live for today, and live the hell out of it.

 

 

Sisters

I, like so many others out there, have a sister.

We aren’t the closest of sisters, we aren’t the best of friends.

Yet she is my sister, she is my family. We are there for each other. Always.

This past Friday, I was standing next to my sister in support when I was lucky enough to witness one of the most beautiful, the most endearing, the most precious and the most heartbreaking moment I’ve ever seen.

My sister, at that moment, laid her head on her husband’s chest, in his nook really …

… and his heart stopped beating a few short minutes later.

The Pigeon and The Statue

Once upon a time in a land further north, I wrote this post:

The Pigeon and The Statue

I would say I suppose, that it still holds true for most relationships.

Unless in that so-called relationship, you become nothing but the statue to the other person. And that my friends, is when it becomes time to …

*Laugh*

That’s the thing, to what? To become someone else’s statue?

You tell me … finish this for me. I need to hear something other than my own thoughts.